Now Or Never
by sunnyamazing
Summary: SamPhil: Postep Collateral Damage, Sam contemplates Phil leaving her and Sun Hill behind.


**Now Or Never**

**A/N:** _Post-ep Collateral Damage, Sam contemplates Phil leaving Sun Hill and her behind. This was my entry for the Huxon vs Jam competition which was won by JamJunkie123! Congratulations! Hope that you like it, and please leave a review!_

_For Gemz, who encouraged me to write this in the first place, who was my beta when I wasn't sure how this all sounded and then encouraged me to put it on here! Without you there would be much less of my writings!_

Sam sat in the middle of the crowded table, her colleagues bunched around her, talking earnestly to the soon to be departing Phil Hunter. She was squashed in between Jo and Grace, the latter who was having an animated conversation to Phil about Specialist Crimes, the people to watch out for and the desks that had the best positions. Sam watched as Phil seemed to be listening to what he was being told, occasionally interrupting to make smart remarks, as to the fact that he had already been there before, to which Grace had told him that this time it was different, he wouldn't be returning back to Sun Hill once more.

Sam reached out for her second or was it third glass of wine, either way she sipped it slowly, not really wanting to believe that this was the last day that he would be at Sun Hill and that tomorrow when she went into work he wouldn't be there. Even after she had been tasked with writing his reference and including only the best points, it still didn't seem real. But that was what she had done this afternoon, she had begun to type aimlessly, until motivation had struck and she knew what to say. Perhaps by omittance she had lied slightly, but by the time he showed some of his less appealing characteristics, she seemed sure that he would have won them over, after all he had done so to her. She looked towards him and he grinned back at her, just as he had so many times before. She smiled back and as she did she remembered their conversation from the yard earlier, wondering what she might have said had they not been interrupted, but as they had been so many times before, whether it by unexpected visitors or by someone randomly walking in on them or past them, they had been and the moment had been lost. Lost into the past, once more. She could have said something when she waited outside the station for him, or even as they walked together hand in hand, but then what could have she said? _Please don't leave me._ Sam ever being able to say that seemed unlikely, and besides how could she deny him the chance to go to Specialist Crimes, to meet new challenges and new people. Phil meeting new challenges didn't phase her, after all she had faced a new challenge when she became the DI again, but perhaps if she was honest, the meeting new people did phase her. Sam groaned quietly to herself, somewhat with anger, she had been the one to end their relationship and had then spent the best part of a year nearly ignoring him and then today he had been the one who had admitted that he would miss her, and what had she said, mumbled something about telephones and transferring cases to Grace.

Suddenly Sam was snapped from her thoughts by the sound of Jack Meadows as he cleared his throat, and stood from his seat.

"So we are all here tonight to farewell Phil off to the challenges and new opportunities. I am sure that you will all agree that he will be missed, in many ways, but then not in some others. He has been a good officer in Sun Hill, when he has kept his mind on the job, and not on someone else's wife" Jack paused as a laugh arose from the table "But" Jack continued "All jokes aside good luck Phil, we will miss you" he finished as he held up his glass

"Good luck Phil" the rest called, as they held their glasses up and knocked them together loudly

"And to show how much we will miss you we are pleased to present you with all of this, to remember us by" Jack said again, as he reached underneath the table and pulled out a giant sized card, a small wrapped box and a large brown paper bag, he handed it across the table towards Phil, who accepted it and then himself stood.

"Thanks Guv. I really don't know what to say" he said with a smile as Jack sat down

"Phil, speechless?" Jo questioned "Is he alright? Check his pulse"

"So funny" Phil replied with a roll of his eyes and then continued "I guess that I should thank you all, today I must admit that I thought that you had forgotten me. But I am glad that you didn't. I know that I haven't been the easiest to work with, so thanks for putting up with me over the years, and as Sam told me earlier there are phones at Specialist Crimes, so feel free to make mine ring occasionally" he said with a smile, then as he held up his glass, he proposed a toast to Sun Hill.

"To Sun Hill" they all called back to him

"Sun Hill" Sam mumbled slightly out of sync with her colleagues, as she swallowed the last quarter of her wine. She then quickly excused herself out from behind the table squeezing past Grace and Kezia and headed towards the ladies room.

"What are you doing?" she questioned to herself loudly, as she bent down and splashed her face with water, then carefully patted it dry with paper towel. She turned around and leant against the sink and closed her eyes, knowing that this evening would eventually end and when it did, she would be going home alone. She took some deep breaths, trying to calm herself down, she had been the one that had just wanted friendship from Phil, when he had been the one who had told her that he loved her, and on today of all days she suddenly wondered if he did still love her. She opened her eyes and turned back towards the mirror, plastering a fake smile upon her face and then headed back towards the rest.

When she returned she noticed that the table empty, all apart from Phil. Sam looked upwards as she heard Phil say "They have gone, work tomorrow and a DI who doesn't like lateness" he smiling

"Who Neil?" she asked, their first real words to one another since everyone had joined them earlier

"No you of course, they said to say good bye and that they would see you tomorrow"

"Right" Sam said flatly "Has everyone gone?"

"All but Jack and Mickey, they have gone to get one last drink, while I take this lot to my car" Phil explained as he went to stand up, balancing the card, the alcohol that had been contained in the brown paper bag and the now unwrapped box, which had contained a photograph of the CID officers smiling proudly after one particularly good result.

"Would you like a hand?" Sam asked as she watched the items wobbling in his hands

"Yes, thanks" he replied as he passed her the card and the photograph

"Only you would keep hold of the beer" Sam said with a laugh as she headed to the door, closely following behind Phil

"Of course" he replied as he made his way across the darkened car park, only illuminated by a small flickering street light

"Where do you want these then?" Sam asked as the two of them reached Phil's car, which he had driven closer to the pub earlier in the evening

"Front seat should be fine. Thanks Guv" he answered as he opened the door

"I'm not your boss anymore Phil" Sam replied wistfully as she placed the items onto the seat

"No I guess you 'aint, Sam" he said as he lay the bottles down on the passenger seat floor and then turned back to look at her.

Sam could feel Phil's eyes staring into hers, the two of them not needing words to convey how much they would each miss the other, they were alone out here, there was no-one watching. Then all of a sudden Sam realised that it was now or never when it came to her relationship with Phil, she leant closer to him, and stood on her tiptoes, then she kissed him softly, wrapping one of her arms around his back, pulling him closer to her, as she did so, she felt him wrap his arms around her and she stumbled back against the car, slamming the door shut as she did. She felt his body press up against hers, as her back leant against the car, their kiss more passionate and full of unsaid thoughts and emotions, just like their first kiss had been.

Eventually the two of them pulled away, their eyes staring into one another's once more

"What does this mean?" Phil asked, now slightly confused

"I think it means that you had better ask me out, again" Sam whispered with a small laugh

"Breakfast, tomorrow morning?" Phil asked with a smirk

"Only you would say something like that" Sam replied as she hit him playfully on the arm

"Yes, that is true" he said with a grin as he leant closer to Sam and kissed her once again

"Come on then, they will be looking for you to share your last drink" Sam whispered as she moved away from Phil, letting her hand fall to be beside his and then holding it tightly, pulling him back towards the door of the Seven Bells.

"Sam" Phil said before he started to walk "This isn't our last drink together is it?" he questioned

"No, because I also drink at breakfast" Sam replied with a wink, as she began to walk towards the door, "Only orange juice though" a smile appearing on her face, she didn't know if her and Phil were meant to be a couple, but at least now she wouldn't live with the regret of never knowing what could have happened between the two of them and that this time they had managed to have a moment without interruption.

_Please review x_


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